Busy-ness

I have been keeping myself extra busy with school, work, & family, in an effort to forget my disappointment. Well I guess it's time to suck it up & put on my big girl panties...

Tomorrow morning I am going to call the dr. & set up my appointment to re-cap my failed cycle. I am absolutely dreading this appointment because I still get emotional just thinking about it. Everyone keeps saying April will probably be better & less stressful to start my new cycle. I don't necessarily agree. My due date would have been the end of October...I wouldn't have to worry about delivering in a snow storm, doing my cycle during graduation...

I am still pretty bitter (in case you couldn't tell) Uhhh...praying for strength tomorrow.

15, 16, & 17s

Yet another appointment filled with bloodwork & an ultrasound. I had my NOT-FAVORITE lab girl=more bruises. I did get my favorite u/s girl. She said my endometrial lining looks good and thick, & lefty has 16 follies, righty has 15 follies, My follicles are 14, 15, & 16s. I really don't know what this means but she said at last appointment they were 12, 13, & 14s. I did read on google that around 17-23 is trigger time =) Also, my ovaries are now touching. I have so many huge follies that my ovaries are now touching. One of my follicles on lefty is the size that my ovary should be.
I have been extremely positive throughout the whole experience but if I may bitch for a moment... I am starting to have urinary urgency. All of the sudden I have to go & go BAD, then when I hit the toilet I tinkle just a little bit. I have also been having slight pain in the ovary area. Lastly, I am having nausea & fullness. This am I was STARVING so I stopped at Dunkin Donuts for a coffee & a donut. I could barely eat half of my donut & don't even think about the coffee. My u/s girl said to drink gatorade instead of water because it decreases that full feeling, but you still get all of your electrolytes. Thanks for the bitch session all!

Shootin up

I had a very new experience this afternoon. As I said in my previous blog I am timing my new injections for 6 PM because they have to be night injections & that will work well with my work schedule (nights 7pm-7am). The only downfall is my clincial nights from 1-7 or 3-9. So tonight I had the very new experience of shootin up in a car. I was outside of my clinical facility (a mental hospital) & we got out early WOOHOO!! So I had to do my injeciton in the car, which was a little more difficult than I thought, but not impossible! It took me longer than when I have a counter to do prep & mixing but the physical injection was a little easier. I think because I was sitting & the fat roll popped quite nicely. I am anticipating my Saturday appointment to see what's going on inside me. I haven't felt a difference yet except for about 2 hours of nausea this evening that subsided on it's own. I am hoping for minimal symptons but I know that is more (*wishful thinking*) I am still super excited & very ready for BABY! I try to remain goal oriented & focused that the end product is worth it ALL!!

Dealing with Feeling; Short term pain...long term gain

Ok so I have been extremely emotional & moody lately trying to work out all of my feelings. Thursday night I called up my "COACH" for a little moral support. I was able to talk to her about all the resentment & jealousy I have felt lately. She told me something I so desperately needed to hear; "Short term pain for a LONG term gain" I am starting to say this over & over in my head to help remind me of my final goal...To have a precious HEALTHY baby, so that my hubby & I can share a wonderful baby bond that we so desperately want. We also talked about how men feel so much differently than woman. I was starting to feel like my emotions were silly & unnecesary because Clay didn't feel any where near the same as I did. I think that every woman undergoing IVf (for whatever reason) should have a good coach to help you with the highs & MANY MANY lows of treatment...
I just want to thank my WONDERFUL amazing "COACH" Danielle & I am seeking all the emotional support & advice possible. If you happen to read this please leave any and all advice =) Thanks!

Snow & Christmas

We had our first big snow for this year on Sat. I enjoyedit as I didn't have to work or go to school! It was so funny watching my little mini daschaund run in the snow that was taller than her. We had to clear a little spot for her to do her business lol.

Christmas is fast approaching. I am completely finished, wrapped & all EXCEPT for my in-laws. My hubby & I are having a TERRIBLE time trying to find something to get for them. I have been spending a lot of time with my friend Michelle who is 37 weeks pregnant. We ventured out to Babies 'R Us yesterday to get some final baby items. I am just in awe of all the cool stuff they come out with. I can't wait until it's my turn & she can help me prepare for my little one.

This year will hopefully be the last one that it it just me & the hubs... I think it's super exciting. We had the challenging discussion yesterday of how many embryos we should implant. The Dr. said we can implant either 1 or 2. I feel like implanting 2 would give me a better sense of security knowing that if one doesn't take there is another one floating around. Clay is a little concerned about implanting 2 because the risk increases. Any comments?

ALMOST THERE =)

So I got a call this week from our IVF nurse. She said all our lab work was done & now we just needed to set up a date for our fisrt (& hopefully ONLY) IVF cycle! I am super excited now I am just waiting for my stupid period, which was supposed to come 12/08/09...still waiting. Hopefully we can set up our cycle for the beginning of January! Everyone keep your fingers crossed