Sunday, January 31, 2010

Stimulation ;-)

I am moving right along with my STIMS! I had an u/s & bloodwork Saturday morning. The tech said my follicles are growing & they look "lovely." My estrogen level is rising appropriately. I have been continuing on with my am Lupron & pm stims. I have another appointment tomorrow morning to see how I am progressing. This may sound stupid but I SWEAR I can feel my ovaries growing. It sort of feels like a gas bubble low in my belly that just won't go away. I told the u/s tech & she said that what I am feeling probably is my ovaries because they are currently double the size they normally would be. How crazy to feel things growing inside your body! I can't wait until I am feeling a little person growing inside my belly =) As the days pass my excitement grows & grows. I just can't wait!!!

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Shootin up

I had a very new experience this afternoon. As I said in my previous blog I am timing my new injections for 6 PM because they have to be night injections & that will work well with my work schedule (nights 7pm-7am). The only downfall is my clincial nights from 1-7 or 3-9. So tonight I had the very new experience of shootin up in a car. I was outside of my clinical facility (a mental hospital) & we got out early WOOHOO!! So I had to do my injeciton in the car, which was a little more difficult than I thought, but not impossible! It took me longer than when I have a counter to do prep & mixing but the physical injection was a little easier. I think because I was sitting & the fat roll popped quite nicely. I am anticipating my Saturday appointment to see what's going on inside me. I haven't felt a difference yet except for about 2 hours of nausea this evening that subsided on it's own. I am hoping for minimal symptons but I know that is more (*wishful thinking*) I am still super excited & very ready for BABY! I try to remain goal oriented & focused that the end product is worth it ALL!!

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Short term pain...LONG term gain

So now that I have had time for things to sink in I am REALLY excited! I havebeen plannign my injections... I will do them around 6PM every night so that i don't have to worry with doing them at work. The only down fall is my clinicals which go from 1-8 & 3-9. I e-mailed the instructor to let her know I have an injection that I will need to take a short break for. Hope that works our for me. At least it's cold enought that I can leave my meds out in the car.
I go back to the dr. Saturday to check my follicles. The nurse today told me I am taking a higher than usual dose of stims so maybe I will be able to retrieve & transfer earlier than expected (*WISHFUL THINKING*) I am just SUPER ready to get this show started & make room for BABY!!!!

Lupron Day #10

Day # 10 of shooting up (I like saying that it makes it feel bad) So today was my Lupron evaluation which means blood work & a wonderful ultrasound! The u/s tech said my ovaries were "quiet" & doing what they are supposed to, NOTHING. So tonight I get to start 2 new meds MY STIMS woo hoo. I start Gonal F & Menopur tongight & still Lupron in the am but a lower dose. I now have some lovely bruising on my belly. This is a short one but not much to say just excited!

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Lupron Day #9

Lupron went well again today! AF showed up late last night. I got an appointment with my RE first thing tommorrow morning, we will see where I go from there. Hopefully I can start my stims & get this party started =) I am mentally & physically READY for all to come!!!! Hopefully all looks well tomorrow & we can get it moving.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Lupron Day#8

I was hoping to wake up this morning to AF's arrival but it appears she is still in hiding. Any other time I would love that she was eluding me but now is time for her to COME OUT!!! Lupron shot went great this morning! I am trying to rotate which side of my belly I use but I keep forgetting which side I used the day before. Maybe I should write it down or something.

Me & the hubs got into a fight last night during our usual pillow talk. It was a really stupid little argument but my feelings are still a little bruised. I brought up Valentines Day because I am normally working or Clay is working or we just don't have time to do anything...So I suggested that this year we should "do something special" Clay interpreted this as spending lots of $$$$. I would be completely satisfied if he drove me down to the water witha picnic dinner & enjoyed each others company. But nope, he just got really mad & said I want way too much. Our transfer date is supposed to be Feb. 12th & he thinks a baby should be enough to satisfy me.

Am I being stupid? Was it just a small silly fight, or should I be a little hurt?

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Lupron Day #7

Week 1 of Lupron down. Now the wait begins...AF was supposed to rear her ugly little head today but is still hibernating. Week 1 of shots to the abdomen has been quite well. No major issues, no bruises (I bruise very easily+Baby Aspirin=BRUISES).

In other news; tomorrow is my first day of my psych rotation for clinicals. I was very nervous because we aren't allowed to wear our traditional white scrubs. The nursing faculty told us to dress in business casual but women pay close attention to your dress. Be aware of your neckline & be sure not to show any cleavage. They even suggesting bending over in front of a mirror to, "see what happens." I have never ever put that much effort into dressing in my life. I was telling the hubs how nervous I was about the dress code & he insisted I go shopping. He didn't have to tell me twice! I got a ton of new shirts (that do nothing fun when I bend over) I now feel very prepared to talk to some veterans with interesting psychiatric disorders. I hope to learn a lot!!

Also, tomorrow my sissy is coming to visit me. She is 13 & very fun. She is also very easy to entertain, so I am sure we'll have a great time tomorrow!!!

My beautiful lil sissy =)

Friday, January 22, 2010

Channeling my inner frugal

I just returned from my most successful Kohl's trip ever! I figured I would share my deals as my friend The Subfertile Frugalista did in her most recent post:

So my total was $77.34. Receipt to prove it
I saved $154.66. Again reciept to prove it

My best deals were an awesome peacocky looking t-shirt for $3, & a pair of khaki style black pants for $8!!!! I almost couldn't believe it when it came up on the screen.

And my last super duper deal was these awesome blouses for ONLY $6.99 each!!!

No more BCPS!!!

I am on Lupron day #4 & last night was the last for my BCPs (birth control pills) I am so excited to be one step closer to a baby. Technically being of the BC means nothing but emotionally it means BABY!!! I should expect AF around the 24th & see the Dr. for bw & an U/S. Every small step seems like a big leap closer to BABY!!

Clay & I were laying in bed last night having some pillow talk (= We were discussing our future baby names hehe. He actually came up with some for the first time! He was completely involved in teh conversation which was unusual. He doesn't liek to talk about our future children because it makes him excited & he's afraid of a let down. We picked out some really cute names that we both like!! I can't wait for BABY

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Thanks for your support

So today in class (nursing school=yuck) we are told to write "thank you for your support" letters that will be printed in the program for our pinning ceremony. I figured what better place to preview my letter than this blog...Let me know what you think

I would like to thank EVERYONE who has been there to support me during nursing school. I would like to start with my wonderful husband, Clay. He has been my motivation and my support. He is the voice in my ear when I think I can't do it. Clay is my shoulder to cry on when I'm stressed and breaking down, he is also my swift kick in the rear when I need to buckle down and focus. He has been there for me through all the ups and downs of this journey and I love him more than anything! Thanks babe. I would also like to thank my mom for raising me to be a strong, independent person. I am so thankful for your guidance and words of encouragement. To my pop-pop, thank you for all of our brunch dates. I'm sure the good food helped me focus much better! To both of my grandmothers, thank you for being strong, smart female role models for me. I strive everyday to be half the woman you ladies are. To my mother & father-in-law, thank you for supporting me and letting me know I can do it, even when I have my doubts. To Dominick, Tori, Karin, Eric, Jason, Stephanie, and Lacy, thank you for listening to me complain and being there to pick me up on my down days. Heather, I want to thank you for being the best study buddy and a reliable carpool. I also want to thank you for being an awesome friend to me! To Michelle & Mike, thanks for all the fun times that I really needed and for being only a phone call away when I'm ready to explode. Lastly, I would like to thank all the nursing faculty for making me the best I can be. Marta, I will always be your cheerleader as long as you will always be my listening ear! Thank you again to EVERYONE who has supported me on this journey to RN.

I actually began to tear up several time when writing this so that means it truley came from my heart <3

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Lupron Day #2 Short term pain...Long term gain (=

Yesterday when i took my lupron shot it kind of stung. I think it was just the shock of putting a shot in belly because today was absolutely fine. I am almost out of syringes because I took 6 days worth of Lupron before I was postponed. I am hoping my coach has a few extra I can use to save me a little bit $$$. ''

I am starting to do better with my emotions. I think since Danielle put my IVF life back into prespective I am able to think more clearly. Whenever I get sad or jealous I just think "Short term PAIN for a LONG term gain" I think anyone going through IVF should have a slogan, something to live by. I have my wonderful COACH & awesome hubby & my slogan =)

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Lupron day #1

So I have started my cycle again. Today was Lupron day #1 & the first day for my baby aspirins. All went well this morning & it feels great to be back in the saddle. Now that I am back to doing injections I actually feel like I'm doing something. Heading to Zumba class tonight while I'm still feeling great =)

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Dealing with Feeling; Short term pain...long term gain

Ok so I have been extremely emotional & moody lately trying to work out all of my feelings. Thursday night I called up my "COACH" for a little moral support. I was able to talk to her about all the resentment & jealousy I have felt lately. She told me something I so desperately needed to hear; "Short term pain for a LONG term gain" I am starting to say this over & over in my head to help remind me of my final goal...To have a precious HEALTHY baby, so that my hubby & I can share a wonderful baby bond that we so desperately want. We also talked about how men feel so much differently than woman. I was starting to feel like my emotions were silly & unnecesary because Clay didn't feel any where near the same as I did. I think that every woman undergoing IVf (for whatever reason) should have a good coach to help you with the highs & MANY MANY lows of treatment...
I just want to thank my WONDERFUL amazing "COACH" Danielle & I am seeking all the emotional support & advice possible. If you happen to read this please leave any and all advice =) Thanks!

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

So when are YOU having some?

Is this like my week or what? I can name at least 3 people who asked me when I am going to have children... One of my hubby's close friends who noticed I was helping my friend with her baby a lot lately, asked so why don't you just have some (ha if it were that easy) Then i was being nice and commenting on a friends post about being pregnant & yeat again, when are you gonna have some followed by "you would make a great mom" UGH!!! There were many more this week but I just don't care to post them... Why is it anyones business when I will be having children? Secondly, why do I feel the need to respond to all these people? Super frustrating ={

Monday, January 11, 2010

Playing mommy <3

As you know, my bestie just had a baby 2 weeks ago. I have been trying to go over & help her out as much as I can. She recently experienced the death of a close friend from her job & will be attending the viewing tomorrow. SOOOOO guess who's watching baby girl?!? MEEEEE!!! I get to play mommy for the day =) I have been really enjoying gaining the experience of feeding, burping, changing, bathing, dressing, & loving a precious little baby. Every moment I spend with her I realize more & more my urge to be a mommy. One one side it is hard to watch someone else be able to have a baby & be a mommy. One the other side I get to share all her special firsts & can help out as much as I can. Hopefully we have a great day tomorrow playing mommy & baby!

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Down day on the rollercoaster

So I have been avoiding blogging because I am attempting not to think about it... Well it looks like I wasted almost a week of Lupron. My IVF was postponed 2 weeks because the genetics lab isn't "ready". GRRRRRRRR. I am just so upset because I was super psyched to get going with the baby making. I was doing my med cycle & getting used to it & getting really excited to think a baby is only weeks around the corner. I know it is only 2 weeks, 14 days but it feels like a freaking lifetime. So I have begun to just not think about it since I'm not taking meds & such. I work like a crazy lady & sleep the rest of the time. So now we will be doing the retrieval & transfer in February... Better late than never I guess

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Well Hello 2010!

So the New Year has come & I rang it in at work with some great people. I haven't posted much recently because I have been working every night & then sleeping every day. Needless to say I have been utterly exhausted. I have been taking my Lupron every day & it is going very well!! On day 2 I started with a wicked cold so I picked up a variety of meds to include to my IVF drugs. I am now takin Lupron, baby aspirin (no BCPs woo hoo!!) prenatal vitamins, vitamin C, Tylenol cold severe in the awake time, Sudafed PE in the sleep time. I was drinking so much orange juice to try & combat this cold that I now have a beautiful cold sore on my lip. So now I have included L-Lysine & a topical cream to my ritual. I think I have finally beaten this cold or at least come super close but the cold sore is still lingering. I should start my period around 1/5/09 & then I see the Dr. for bloodwork & an ultrasound. Let the baby-making BEGIN!!!