19 kids??? Can I have 1 maybe 2?

I am watching 19 kids and counting...Why you ask? I HAVE NO FREAKIN CLUE!! Probably one of the absolute worst shows for an infertile to watch! It is a little depressing that one person can have 19 children. I am struggling to have 1 maybe 2. The Duggars say they will have as many children as the lord will allow. With that being the case, the lord doesn't allow all to be mommies and to be honest I am absolutely depressed by it. I am not necessarily religious, but I do believe in God. I can't imagine why God wouldn't want my husband and I to have children?!? We are good honest people who believe in the Lord. We don't pray all the time or go to church, but we believe in God.

It is just so hard to believe one person can be completely blessed while so many others are not...

Dealing with Feeling; Short term pain...long term gain

Ok so I have been extremely emotional & moody lately trying to work out all of my feelings. Thursday night I called up my "COACH" for a little moral support. I was able to talk to her about all the resentment & jealousy I have felt lately. She told me something I so desperately needed to hear; "Short term pain for a LONG term gain" I am starting to say this over & over in my head to help remind me of my final goal...To have a precious HEALTHY baby, so that my hubby & I can share a wonderful baby bond that we so desperately want. We also talked about how men feel so much differently than woman. I was starting to feel like my emotions were silly & unnecesary because Clay didn't feel any where near the same as I did. I think that every woman undergoing IVf (for whatever reason) should have a good coach to help you with the highs & MANY MANY lows of treatment...
I just want to thank my WONDERFUL amazing "COACH" Danielle & I am seeking all the emotional support & advice possible. If you happen to read this please leave any and all advice =) Thanks!

Snow & Christmas

We had our first big snow for this year on Sat. I enjoyedit as I didn't have to work or go to school! It was so funny watching my little mini daschaund run in the snow that was taller than her. We had to clear a little spot for her to do her business lol.

Christmas is fast approaching. I am completely finished, wrapped & all EXCEPT for my in-laws. My hubby & I are having a TERRIBLE time trying to find something to get for them. I have been spending a lot of time with my friend Michelle who is 37 weeks pregnant. We ventured out to Babies 'R Us yesterday to get some final baby items. I am just in awe of all the cool stuff they come out with. I can't wait until it's my turn & she can help me prepare for my little one.

This year will hopefully be the last one that it it just me & the hubs... I think it's super exciting. We had the challenging discussion yesterday of how many embryos we should implant. The Dr. said we can implant either 1 or 2. I feel like implanting 2 would give me a better sense of security knowing that if one doesn't take there is another one floating around. Clay is a little concerned about implanting 2 because the risk increases. Any comments?