Thursday, March 18, 2010

Did I just get a job offer?!?

At my appt. Tuesday DH & I were talking to the Dr. about my upcoming graduation... Dr. said, "Remind me again what degree you will be graduating with?"
I proudly proclaim NURSING.

Dr., "Well what area of nursing would you like to get into?"
Me, "I'm not really sure yet. Possibly maternity."
Dr., "Well you know fertility nursing is a great area to get into. We are always looking for great people *WINK*. Plus you would come with a wealth of knowledge & experience."

I look over at my DH & continue to tell my Dr. that I had actually considered fertility nursing. I mean me ~INFERTILE~ working with other infertiles & helping them have their dream babies. Plus it is something I am totally interested in. I would love to be keep up to date with all the infertility changes after I am finished with my first IVF cycle. Also, there has to be some kind of IVF benefit working for your clinic... I am totally stoked, I have looked more & more into this & it is a front runner in the options pool.

What do you think guys? An infertile working at the fertility clinic. It almost feels like a would be a mole or a spy, gathering info from teh other side & bringing it to the infertile side?

My WTF appointment...

I have been a very bad blogger lately & have completely avoided the topic of IF... Well ladies & gentleman here it is, the long awaited WTF appointment. My DH & I geared up for our 8 am appt. As we were driving in I began to feel extremely grumpy, which later turned into DREAD. I did not want to go to that appt. I was so afraid I would get really emotional & my emotions wouldn;t be relevant or acknowledged. SO we get to the office & what do I hear? A screaming child... My RE's office has a no kid policy so this was not something I expected to hear & quite frankly I was pissed at the sound of it. This lady was there with 2 little kids. We waited for 30 minutes before we got back to see our Dr.

As the receptionist led us back to the Dr.s office I was starting with the nerves & almost felt like I could throw up at any minute. We get into the office with my Dr. & he apologized for the wait & said, "Your time is very important to me *WINK*' && I fell in love with our Dr. all over again.

To sum up our appt. the Dr. said he feels he was too conservative in my med dosing. Also, I was overly sensitive to the Lupron. He said he will change up most of my drugs for the next cycle to an antagonist protocol. I will be taking follistim (using the pen YIKES), menopur, & ganirelex. Then we tried to figure out a timeline of events. We talked to the Dr. because we are concerned with starting a cycle in April because I will be graduating from Nursing school & I don't want ANYTHING to interrupt that!!! The Dr. was excited about my graduation & agreed that we should wait until May or June when I will be less stressed out because of school.

Next he asked us about our finances!! Can you believe it, a dr concerned about us being able to afford it?!?! We will be reimbursed from services not rendered during our last cycle. We also receive 20% off our fertility services through our clinic's shared help program, The dr. said he wants to take our drug cost off the table, COMPLETELY off the table!!! He wants to hoard drugs just for me so that I don;t have to pay for fertility drugs YAY I was SOOOOO excited to hear that. I also think i got a job offer but i will write a separate post about that.

So here's my goody bag of drugs they could scrounge from the office =)

So here's to a great appointment & hopefully a great next IVF cycle!

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Makes me think...

As I am sitting here on the couch writing this post, I am balling like a baby. I have recently found a new favorite show, The Locator. On this show the host Troy Dunn receives videos & letters from people asking him to find lost family members. I have seen episodes where mothers look for daughters, daughters look for fathers, etc. I apologize for regressing but I have to give you a little history for the whole thing to make sense...

Growing up my family lived in a really small town. I grew up with my mom & dad, an older brother, & a little sister. When I was about 16 years old my parents began having marriage issues. My brother was a difficult child and I think it strained the relationship a lot. My parents went to counseling & worked through a lot of their issues & were doing great. They bought a motorcycle together as a way for them to bond & spend fun quality time together. When I was 18 I graduated high school & moved out of my parents house & in with Clay.

About 1 year later when I was 19 I received a concerning phone call from my mother. She told me that my father had taken a motorcycle ride on Friday night after work & hasn't returned home (This was Sunday). I immediately went home to be with my mother & little sister. EVERYONE was at my mother's house & we were calling all over trying to find him. I was completely distraught because I had been a total daddy's girl. Clay & I called every hospital, jail, friend, family member we could think of. Monday afternoon he finally called my mother & said he needed to talk. When he came over Monday night he told my mother he had been seeing someone for 6 months behind my mother's back. I was crushed!!! My world was rocked.

In the months following my mom had a really hard time with my dad. He would say he was coming to pick up my sister & then never show, give her money one day & take it away the next, call my mom some awful names... Needless to say he & I haven't talked much since then. I got married & didn't invite my father. He no longer has any relationship with my little sister (13 years old).

In watching this show it makes me think about my dad who I haven't seen or spoke to in about 4 years. I love to think about all the really great times I had being daddy's little girl. I loved it when he would run errands & ask me to ride along with him & every year we would go to the beach & he would carry me on his back into the really deep water. And then I think about that awful day when he broke my heart.

It really makes me wonder if I will ever long to have a relationship with my father again. As of right now I am still very hurt & MAD at him for what he has done. It really makes me think about what the future may hold...

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Springy Day!!

Today was the beginning of MANY spring-like days!

So me & my little dog decided to take full advantage. We took a long walk down to the water & then back home.

We hadn't been walking since last year so Fifi was a little rusty. I had to remind her to slow down & enjoy the scenerey. Once she calmed down a little she remembered how much she loved all the smells & stopped to sniff EVERYTHING!!!

I am really hoping this nice weather will be enough to help me out of my IF funk. That & we are gonna start IVF#2 next month. I will leave you with some more cool pics I snapped on this beautiful day.

Broken Dock



Sunday, March 7, 2010

Weekend FUN

This was one of the first weekends in FOREVER (well not forever but like a month or two) that I have had off work!!! I worked Friday night 7p-1a and slept until 12p Saturday morning. Me & the hubby went to one of our favorite little mom & pop places for brunch. Had some amazing french toast yummm. At 4 I pickep up my lil sissy & her friend Meghan for some dress shopping. She has her big 8th grade dance this year & all the girls wear cocktail type dresses. We went to the mall & were there ALL night long. Tori got the cutest little purple dress with a black ribbon & little roslettes on it (pics will come later). Then we had to buy accessories, Necklaces, bracelettes, earrings, & a cute little hair piece!! Meghan got an awesome blue silky dress. We shopped till we dropped & headed home around 9:30pm.

Today the hubby had a meeting at the firehouse (He's the VP) early this morning so I got to sleep in until 9 am!!! When the hubster came home he was feeling sick. Poor guy has had the stomach bug all day. I ran out for pepto, Immodium AD, powerade, & sodas for me =).

Tomorrow it's back to school for me & hopefully work for Clay. I get to learn all about code blue (cardiac arrest) & how to place an IV. I am freakishly excited!!


So I have nothing new to report... Clay & I visit the Dr. March 16th to review our last cycle. I have been keeping myself increadibly busy with school & work. Next week starts my spring break & I am REALLY looking forward to the break. So that's it for now, until I get the motivation to report more this is all